New lover from the classifieds

sex stories

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She decided to put an ad in the local paper that read: HUSBAND WANTED, must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me, and must still be good in bed! All applicants apply in person.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray haired man sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs. The woman said: "You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you…you have no legs!"
The old man smiled, "Therefore I cannot run around on you!"
She snorted: "You don't have any hands either!"
Again, the old man smiled, "Nor can I beat you!"
She raised an eyebrow and gazed intently: "Are you still good in bed?"
With that, the old gentleman beamed a broad smile: "I rang the doorbell didn't I?"

story by: The Porn Joker



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: The Porn Joker



Related sex stories:

  • The repairman and the cheating wife

    I went down on my knees and opened his jeans. My heart was pounding and my nipples were painfully erect. I pulled out a thick cock - as muscular as his arms. This cock would rip me open. His hands were caressing my hair and he gently pushed his cock into my mouth. It was huge. I could hear him moan as I moved his dick inside my mouth. I was a cheating wife! My husband had a very demanding...

  • Sis and me

    i was 14, my sister nancy was 19, it was a saturday morning. i thought i was the only one at home. i was laying on the couch watching tv naked jacking off, something i did whenever i hadthe chance, i had to use the bathroom, asi went down the hallway, i passed nancys room, to my surprise she was home, standing in front of her mirror topless with little black g string panties. i watched her take baths often,...

  • The backseat adventure

    I had always told my wife of my desire to keep our sex life exciting. I would go to swingers sites and talk to people but couldn't get her to join me. We have a great sex life and I do everything I can to keep it that way. I was talking to a single guy, Mike, and telling him how we just started and she was very shy and not sure if she was ready to try swinging. After...

  • The fun is back

    My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for over five years. We have done mostly mfm's and she did one fmf on her own. We were prety regular with this one guy for mfm but after a few years things just drifted apart. She lost interest and we took breaks, we would still talk with people but nothing would materialize. She told me that she was pretty much done with the lifestyle. So i (dissapointed) figured that we...

  • New found customers

    Andrea cried the first time I came in her mouth. She blubbered something about betraying her husband, even as her hand milked my cock dry. "But I thought this is what you wanted"" I said, tracing the sticky cream across her wide lips. "And you want more." She sniffled, sobbed and stroked my cock to fullness. She can"t help herself, even though decency tells her she"s wrong. I was only a teenager but I knew that. I guess Andrea"s husband...

My voyeurism story

Sex, drugs, and an unexpected threesome

Vacation visit with sister

His First Pegging

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.