Our first time

sex stories

It all started with a click, one single click, and it lead to the most amazing friendship and relationship anyone could ever ask for. This is my story:

All throughout the years of his life, Josh had always been the person no one wanted. In his early grades of school, he was the one with glasses, he was the one who had he was the one who never felt the true friendship of one of his peers. Sure, he had friends he would talk to at school, during lunch, at recess, but he always knew deep in his heart from an early age, that he was destined to be alone. He saw plenty of other children that had best friends, he knew they had sleepovers; he desperately wanted to feel what the other children felt, love of and from another friend.

Josh was the type of person who when someone was down, he would go to them and he had a seemingly magical ability to make them happy again and they would no longer feel the pain they had once felt. No one ever truly saw this quality in his childhood, no one saw it in his teen years, and no one saw it during his college years. Of course, his parents saw it, his grandmother saw it, occasionally when they needed help, his peers saw it, but no one ever truly cared enough about it to really get to know him.

During the summer of his sophomore year in high school, something happened to Josh that changed his life forever, but not in the way one would hope. While attending a party hosted by his family at his house, he was helping to take care and play with the younger children just as everyone had become accustomed to him doing. He was the type to sacrifice some of his fun to make sure everyone else around him had a great time. He would sit in the grass and play with the toddlers, making sure that all of them shared their toys and were happy and laughing. Later that afternoon, he helped his step-father cook and prepare the hamburgers, hot dogs, and bratwursts that had been bought for this celebration of his first return home in almost 7 years. People were playing washers (wershers if you are from the Midwest like I am), some ate, and some just sat and visited with family they hadn’t seen in years or met family they never knew they had.

In the evening, after everyone had left, Josh went to bed and was awoken about an hour later by his parents saying that he should get up, they needed to talk. He got up, sat at the dining room table, and was surprisingly asked numerous questions. They wanted to know if he had done something to one of the little girls. He, of course, was shocked and did not know how to respond, the only thing he could say was, He was asked repeatedly, denying any accusations they had for him. His parents knew he had not done anything wrong and this was one major mistake they would have to deal with as a family. The court cases were short, Josh never saw the inside of a courtroom, and in the end, a final decision was made that there was less than a .1% chance that he had done anything at all negative to anyone at the party.

Of course, living in a small-town, word spread quickly of his situation. On the first day of his junior year, he arrived at school with a knot in his stomach, wondering how he would be receipted. He did not have long to wait. As soon as the assembly started welcoming the students for another year, he was met with gazes and awkward looks from everyone, including the staff. In his first class of the new year, Spanish, the other students patronized him by saying, “Tres year-old chica,” and things of the sort. However, Josh had one friend on his side in that class, the teacher, who was also the school counselor. She sent the students saying those hurtful words to the principal, who was the high school football coach. Josh’s only revenge on them through the last two years of high school was the fact that they had to run 30 extra minutes each day for 3 weeks. It wasn’t much, but it was better than nothing. Through those last two years, Josh had no friends, no dates, and no interest from anyone in anything he did. He was ostracized by the entire school and community. He was the joke of the town, being the one who was pointed at, laughed at, and made a mockery of.

Eventually he graduated, ranking fifth in his class. He went to a private college, a few hours away where no one knew him. When he arrived, he immediately made friends, which was new and exciting to him. He was asked to go places, asked to hang out, and enjoyed the first half of his freshman year; he even got his first job while going to school, a job working for the local hockey team, his favorite sport, things were looking up for him and he was finally happy. The happiness did not last long however, one day, while getting lunch at the food court, he heard something he had never dreamed of hearing…it was the name he was called in high school. Somehow, one of the students he graduated with knew a student at the university he attended and had gotten an email address of that student at his university. The student at his high school told, in grave detail, about Josh’s past and everything that had happened. Because these students knew each other and were friends, word was quickly spread around at the university. Once again, Josh lost everyone. He again had no friends, his roommate always slept somewhere else, and he again was completely alone.

Taylor was a small-town girl and had gone through some of the same problems as Josh, but neither one knew each other for the first years of their lives. Josh never knew about this amazing girl, who had gone through traumatic experiences of her own, sooner than any girl should have to. He never knew how this girl had battled and fought to become one of the smartest girls he would ever meet. He never knew what she endured each night she came home to a family who didn’t care about her. He never knew, but would soon learn her awful background. One night while she was nine, a babysitter was watching her for her parents decided to let her boyfriend come over. He brought a bottle with him and a box, Taylor thought it was a gift for the babysitter. After their evening had commenced with the two of them playing with Taylor, the babysitter decided to lay her down for the evening, Taylor expected to go to sleep and wake up the next morning as normal. A couple hours later, while Taylor lay in her bed asleep, she was awoken by someone standing over her. It was the boyfriend, he was drunk. He sat on the bed and proceeded to touch Taylor in unnecessary ways. From that night on, Taylor was always shy, she wouldn’t go out with friends, and eventually, she just wouldn’t go out. She went to school, she would sometimes, very rarely though, go to parties, and the only friend she had was her best friend Jessica, who ironically shared a birthday with her. Her only sense of happiness, was the fact that she still had hope, hope that someday, he prince would rescue her from her hell that she called her life.

While Josh was alone and always wondered, even in his late teens, if he would ever find a girl that truly loved him for him, Taylor wondered the same; she wondered if there would ever be a guy that she could call her own and that would love her for her, even knowing her horrific past. What neither of them knew though, was it would be one click, one message that would bring each of them everything they had ever wanted.

One night, in April of 2008, after Josh had came home to continue his education at the local community college, he lay in his bed on his laptop, going to and from the chat sites he liked to go to just to try and meet new people and friends. He came across one site in particular that had over 300 people on it. He logged in as his usual name and began to post messages saying that if anyone wanted to chat, just pm him. He received a few heys and he talked to a few people before he saw someone log in on the main chat, OklahomaGirl. He paid no attention to it really, to him, it was just another girl that he figured he would never get the chance to talk to. He put up a few more messages saying the same as before, and he got one message, from a guy, who he ignored. Josh decided that before he would log off, he would say it one more time, just in case someone new had came into the room and hadn’t seen it. “Anyone who wants a clean chat with a nice, normal guy, feel free to pm me.” He received one reply: OklahomaGirl. He said hi back, asked how she was tonight, and they hit it off immediately. They started talking at 11pm, they continued to talk on the chat site for four hours, and then around 3am, decided to get a little better acquainted and they exchanged emails for Yahoo! Messenger. They added each other, saw each other’s pictures for the first time, and they both fell in love with the pictures of each other simultaneously.

For the next two hours, they shared life goals, ambitions, and fantasies with each other. They told of how each had grew up, the good, the bad, and the sad. Each knew in their heart that one day, as long as they kept hope, they would meet and would fall in love. Neither, however, dared say it to the other, just to make sure they didn’t screw anything up and lose the other forever. At 5am on that Sunday morning, they decided to say goodnight to the person they each secretly loved. The next afternoon, each were online, and they started talking again. That day and night, we were on the computer for about twelve hours. They laughed together, told stories to each other, and just enjoyed every singly second that they had together. It continued like this for a few weeks, each of them getting online at different points of the day, hoping to reconnect with the other, even if it were only for a few minutes.

After a couple weeks had gone by, Taylor hinted to Josh that he should call her by putting her cell phone number up at the top of the window in her public message. Josh saw this, but was apprehensive to call, because each time he picked up his phone and dialed the number, he could not make his finger press the send button. He was too scared of rejection because he had been rejected so many times by people just based on the shallow aspects of his life (i.e. glasses, braces, nerdy, etc.). What he did not know was that Taylor sat there with her phone in her hands the whole time they talked, hoping and praying that it would ring. For the first few days her number was there, it never did. She was devastated, her one and only man, for some reason, would not call her. Then, the fourth night she had her number up, her phone rang, it was a number she didn’t know, it was Josh. Her heart jumped, her body went numb, and as she said, her voice started to crackle and sputter. She was, at that moment, as happy as she had ever been in her life. She finally heard the voice she desperately wanted to hear. “Hi, is this Taylor?”

She held back a tear and said, “Y-yes, this is Taylor. Is this Josh?”

“Yes, hi, how are you?” Josh’s heart raced as he spoke, feeling like his body had floated into outer space.

“I’m good, how are you?” Taylor replied, feeling exactly as high as Josh at that moment.

Their conversations online ceased, except for when they were forced to talk there. Each night, one would call the other, asking how each other’s day was and what they had done. Little did they know, their two year long journey to a magical night together had just begun. Every time they talked, their friendship seemed to grow stronger, they learned more about each other, and secretly, they loved each other more every day. It wasn’t until about two months into talking on the phone that Taylor finally said the three words that to this day, make my spine tingle and make me smile endlessly, “I love you.”

Josh heard this and a tear trickled down his cheek, “I love you, too.” From that day on, neither could say it enough. Every time they talked, they ended with “I love you.” They spent each weekend, Friday and Saturday nights, together. Some lasted from 10pm to 7am, some lasted only from 11pm to 1am, but no matter how long they talked, they both knew how much they loved the other and how much they other loved them. They began to talk about the future, how each wanted to achieve their goals, and how each wanted a family together.
One weekend over the summer vacation, they spent a night together that each would remember forever. This night is when Josh’s love for Taylor was proven and also when Taylor realized how much Josh loved her for her. Throughout the night, Taylor had progressively been feeling worse and worse, but did not want the night to end. She complained of a cough and scratchy throat, what would later be diagnosed as strep throat. Not wanting the night to end, she stayed with him on the phone until around 6am when she could no longer take it, she needed to do what was the only thing that ever helped her when she had a sore throat, she would gargle hydrogen peroxide. She started to gargle, not realizing that Josh could hear her, and he started to chuckle at her, thinking that she sounded adorable. When she brought the phone to hear ear, she heard him say with a chuckle, “Babe, that was adorable, I love you.”

“What was so adorable? I’m sick and you think I’m adorable?” she answered.

“Yes, I do, Hearing you gargle that sounded like you were killing Mr. Bubbles,” he retorted. (For those that don’t know, Mr. Bubbles is a brand of bath bubbles for kids, I had it when I was little.)

Upon hearing this, Taylor began to laugh, then she started to cry and Josh couldn’t figure out why. He asked her why she was crying and the answer he got made him love her more than he thought possible. She said, “I’m crying because no one has ever stayed with me like this when I was sick and no one has ever laughed like you just did. I love that laugh and I want to hear it for the rest of my life.”

“I do love you baby. More than you will ever know and I promise to stay with you anytime you are sick, even if it is being sick in the head, haha.”

“Shut up, jerk, I’m trying to be serious here. I love you Joshua and I always will.”

“I love you, too, Taylor. More than you could ever

“Will you stay with me on the phone until I fall asleep?”

“Only if we fall asleep together,” and that is what they did, each fell asleep to the sound of the other snoring in their ear.

One weekend later, on another night where they stayed up for nine hours together, Josh and Taylor consummated their relationship in the only way they could, over the phone. As they lay in bed, as together as they could be, Taylor began to get a feeling she had never had before with Josh, at least not that she had told him. Of course, she had thought of him will playing with herself at night after they got off the phone and in the afternoons after school, but she had never thought about doing anything over the phone with him. He had thought about it, but he wouldn’t say anything about it because if it was meant to happen, she would bring it up, he did not want to push her into anything she wasn’t ready for.

That Saturday night, while they talked about a few things related to them and sex, she said that she had about him earlier in the afternoon after her family left for a trip. He said that he had done the same in the shower, not twenty minutes before they got on the phone. What he heard next surprised, shocked, and excited him. He heard the second best phrase that he had ever heard, the first being Taylor saying she loved him. Josh thought that he heard a moan, but he couldn’t be sure. He did, and then he heard the words, “I’m being a brave little toaster.” It was her way of saying to him that she was about him right there on the phone with him. He replied, “Really? What are you doing baby?” She said again, in, if possible, a sexier voice, “I’m being a brave little toaster. Come play with me baby.” Josh’s dick became hard in an instant and off they went. They moaned and sighed, played and talked back and forth. For nearly an hour, Josh had Taylor cumming over and over, telling her what he wanted to do with her if he had the chance. Finally, after an hour and a half, Taylor had came four times and Josh came the hardest he ever had. They both decided to talk for the rest of the night and ended up staying together for another four hours after they finished, again falling asleep dreaming of holding the other in their arms.

Josh and Taylor continued this same pattern, talking and proving their love each night, then on the weekends, they would again be together in the only way they could, over the phone. Josh always told the story or said what he would do to her first, allowing her to cum before he did, and then Taylor would reciprocate for him, making him cum seemingly harder each time. Over and over again each week, they would tell each other of their love, making it known to the only other person in their separate lives that truly mattered to each of them. They would spend their time playing games on the computer, watching tv together, or just talking about their futures. Each was their for the other if they needed to talk, one of the hardest talks they had was when Josh’s grandmother passed away in July of 2009. It was to this day, the only time Josh had let Taylor hear him cry. The part that Taylor did not know, was Josh had told his grandmother only weeks before, even though she had had a stroke and did not know who he was that he met a girl and he was going to make her his wife some day. His grandmother just smiled, the same knowing smile that she had always gave him, she understood what he said. After she passed, Josh woke up in his sleep and without turning over, knew that his grandmother was with him at that moment. He said hello and told her again that he loved Taylor, that he needed a sign to know that this was right, that she really was the one. The very next day, I began to see every road sign, every billboard, anything that had the word in it, and to this day, I know it was my grandmother telling me that she was my one and only.

Over two years, Josh and Taylor’s relationship began to blossom, it was as if they were friends in a previous life and the picked up where it left off. They shared their deepest, darkest secrets, they shared goals, wants, needs, everything. Two years, over the course of a lifetime, it seems like nothing, for us, until the day we finally met, it was torture. Seeing couples that got to be together, seeing couples that got to be together but treated each other like shit, seeing old couples that had been in love for fifty years, it was rough. But that torture would soon be completely removed, as we would share one, amazing night together in my favorite city, and what would later become Taylor’s favorite city as well, St. Louis.

In late March 2010, Taylor took a trip to St. Louis to visit a new college. A few days before she came, Josh decided that he was going to meet her, he would get a room at her hotel and they would get one chance to spend a night together. Josh scrounged up the money needed, went down early on a Saturday afternoon and checked in. He texted Taylor and said, “Wow, this hotel is nice, you guys picked out a good one.” Taylor picked up her phone, read it, and nearly fainted, he was there, in the same building as her, just down the hall. She knew she had to wait until that night to see him, but she couldn’t help it. She texted Josh and said, “Go get ice.” As he walked out the door, he saw her at the other end of the hall, walking his way. They got closer, fifty feet, fourty, thirty, twenty, they both could hardly walk, ten, five, and then they passed each other. Taylor turned around to see Josh shaking his head. She wondered why he was doing that and then thought, “Oh no, he doesn’t like me and thinks this was all mistake.” She felt sick; she went to her room and wanted to throw up. However, she didn’t understand the real reason why Josh’s head was shaking, she would find out that night. She went out to eat with her family, even though she could not eat because of her nerves. They thought maybe she was sick and she said when she arrived back at the hotel that she was going to bed, that she would see them in the morning. Retiring to her room, she texted Josh. “Hey to you! When can you come down to my room?” “Give me 30 minutes, ok?” “Ok, let me know you’re coming.” “Ok, I love you.” “I love you too.”

Thirty minutes, to both of them it was an eternity. They counted the minutes, the minutes, fifteen minutes, ten minutes, five minutes, BUZZZZZ. Josh’s phone was Taylor. “Be there in one minute.” The proverbial butterflies started to flap hard, he was less than a minute away from holding his girl, the only girl he had ever loved and had ever loved him. His breathing went haywire. He started to shake. Now he felt like he would throw up. He opened the door a crack so she could come in. He stared through the peephole, he saw her foot, then her leg, then her. He opened the door, she was there. She sat her flip flops on the floor and they locked eyes.

They each took steps toward each other, never blinking once, caught up in the love they shared for each other. He took her in his arms, held her close, and said those words he had been so accustomed to saying on the phone, “I love you Taylor.” She started to cry, but he said none of that, this is a happy night, and as he bent down, she rose up, and his lips touched hers for the first time ever. Fireworks. Both felt the other open their lips slightly, seeking each other’s tongue. As their tongues touched gently, he pulled her into him as tightly as he could, she moaned, he sighed, and both felt love like they never had before. They both got what they had always asked for, someone to love them as they were. Josh backed away from the kiss first, but hugged her tighter, and she could only do the same. As they broke the hug, both smiled their own weird smiles and they walked hand-in-hand to the table on the other side of the room. They sat down and started talking like they had over the phone for the last two years, never once looking away from the other’s eyes. Taylor said before they were going to do anything, she needed to use Josh’s toothbrush because hers fell in the toilet when she was getting ready; she had accidentally knocked it off. It was, of course, a lie; she just wanted to use his toothbrush so she could feel that much closer to him. He said that was ok, that anything she needed, if he had it, it was hers.

As soon as she was done using his brushing her teeth, he sat on the edge of the bed and she came up to him and sat in his lap. They locked eyes; Taylor reached for the remote, turned off the TV, and asked the burning question in the pit of her stomach: “Why were you shaking your head after you went past me in the hall earlier today?”

“I couldn’t get over how much more beautiful you are in person, each time I see a picture of you, I get butterflies, but when I saw you earlier today, my heart swelled up and I couldn’t figure out how I, plain simple me, was the lucky one,” Josh answered.

She cocked her head and asked, lucky one? What do you mean?”

“How am I the lucky one who gets to call you mine forever? How has no one else seen how amazing you are? And how have they not asked you out and tried to get you as their girlfriend? How am I the one to be so lucky? What did I do to deserve someone as special as you?”

“I love you, Joshua,” was all she could say.

Taylor just leaned in further and stared into his eyes fighting back tears again. She also felt Josh’s dick begin to harden under her because of how arousing her eyes had always been to him and she just smiled, knowing that for the first time, it was she who was doing that to a man just because he knew she was beautiful and he loved her. She kissed his lips, he grabbed her head, she probed her tongue into his mouth again, and they kissed like lovers. Josh’s dick was as hard as it had ever been and Taylor was sopping wet with anticipation. She kissed him harder, he kissed her and sucked her tongue knowing what was in store for them later. Taylor said through kisses, “Baby, take my shirt off.” Josh did. He lifted her shirt over her head, unveiling to his eyes her white, lace bra. He reached behind her, but she stopped him, looked in his eyes, smiled, and said, “Uh-uh, you have to earn it, first.”

Josh told her to get up quickly, she did, and he laid her down on her front. He began to rub her back, slowly around the shoulder blades, then down, over the bra strap, and down to her lower back. As he started back up, she reached around, unsnapped her bra, and took it off. She still lay on her back, but he was free to massage her everywhere and anywhere. He rubbed up, down, over and back, side to side, making her sigh. Then, she did what he could only have hoped for, she rolled onto her back, and said with a smile, “Rub my front now, Joshua?” Josh almost came in his pants he was so turned on. He started with her belly, rubbed down just slightly into the front of her jeans, then back up and he rubbed onto her breasts. She gasped; no one had ever touched her there but herself. He squeezed; she moaned feeling herself get wetter. He leaned down; she knew what he was going to do but wasn’t prepared. He took her nipple in his mouth; she moaned out softly, “Oh Joshua, oh baby.” She put her hand on his head and pressed hard. He began to suck on her nipple and she couldn’t help but start to breathe harder. He pulled his mouth off her nipple, then went up and pressed his tongue to her lips, slowly kissing her. She tugged at his shirt, pulling it off and tossing it to the floor. Their bodies, naked for the waist up slid along each other, their nipples touched each other, their tongues intertwined to become one. She felt him grow hard again, she knew what she wanted.

“Baby, roll over on the bed,” she said.

“Ok.” Josh said, but he surprised her by rolling off the bed. He looked into her eyes, smiled mischievously, and pulled her socks off. He went to her waist, unbuttoned her jeans, grabbed them by the ankles and as she lifted, he pulled them off. He was treated to the most beautiful site, to that point, that he had ever seen. She had a large, damp spot on the front of her navy blue, lace panties. It was because of him. He lay back down on the bed next to her and pulled her close. She was breathing hard, fast, and heavy now, she wanted him. He put a hand to her body, upon her breast, and squeezed lightly. He put his lips to her neck and sucked gently, as his hand went lower…to her belly…to her her pubic hair…and then, he touched it. She had what she wanted, her Joshua’s finger brushed her clit and she squealed in delight. He ran it over her clit once, twice, three times, each time pressing it just a bit harder than the last. She was shaking uncontrollably, she was going to cum. He ran his finger just a bit lower, right through her slit and into her pussy to the first did it, she kissed him as hard as she could as she came, all the while he just rubbed her clit, making her scream into his lips. He just kissed her and held her, loving that she would let him do this for her. He brought his hand back out, brought it to her face, and showed her the cum. He put his finger to his lips and sucked it completely off, right in front of her.

She reached down to his belt, undid it, the snap on his jeans, and started to push them down. He stood up to help her as she sat up at the side of the bed, she pulled his jeans and briefs down all at once, and was treated to the most beautiful site she had ever seen, there before her face, stood his seven inch dick, hard and throbbing for her. She reached out for it, took it in her hand, and started to stroke it. His knees gave out and she got an idea. “Lay down on the bed Joshua. Put a pillow under your head, close your eyes, and relax.” He did as she said, wondering what she planned. He didn’t have to wait long, he felt her straddle him, then told him to open his eyes. There before him, as he felt a warm, wet mouth slide down his dick about four inches, was her beautiful, wet pussy, and she brought it down to his mouth as he reached behind her and brought her down hard right onto his tongue.

Up and in it went, never once thinking about anything other than pleasuring her again, eating her hard and deep, as deep as he could go. He felt her moaning vibration on his dick and he thought he would cum right there. He didn’t though, he just started to eat her as hard as he could and she had to pull off him to moan. That allowed him to regain control as his tongue buried itself in her pussy, then suck on her clit, and then bury once again in her pussy. Each time she fluttered, he would slow down then suck her clit, over and over through that routine for five minutes, until she could take no more and a hot flood of Taylor cum rushed into his mouth. As he tasted her, he couldn’t help but moan into her pussy that he was cumming, she just sat down harder and sucked for all she could. She felt gush after gush of hot, white cum go into her mouth, and she collected it all savoring the taste. When she had gotten out every drop, she swallowed it all. They lay together in the bed, kissing and talking for the next hour, before they started up again.

On one especially long kiss, he reached down to her pussy once more and started to rub her clit. She just opened her legs wider and let him touch her. They kissed, harder and faster, until she looked in his eyes and said, “Joshua, please, make love to me.” He reached over to the bed side table, taking a condom from the box. He handed it to her and asked her to put it on him. When she had it rolled on, he told her that tonight was their night, and he was going to make her favorite phone story come true. He crawled on top of her, kissed her, put his lips to her ear, and said, “Taylor, I love you, and I want to spend my life with you, will you marry me?” She replied, “I love you too baby. I want to spend my life with you too, yes baby, I will marry you.” He pressed his hips into her and felt the hot, slick, tight walls travel up all the way to his base, they had just taken each others virginities. He grabbed the blankets, pulled them up over top of them completely, intertwined his fingers in hers, and put their hands under the pillows. He kissed her softly and made small movements until she was ready. When she was, he pulled out, then pressed back in, both of them moaning as he did. He continued this movement, slowly in, slowly out, until they both could take no more. He sped up, and she met his thrusts. Josh went in, out, in, out, harder and faster, both of them losing control of their voices, gasping for air as they approached their own climaxes. They both felt like the only people in the world at that moment, and honestly, that was all that mattered to them, they both had someone who loved them, and they were giving each other their bodies to enjoy. Taylor started to moan and squeal, squeezing his dick hard until one final thrust pressed him against the bottom of her pussy, and she spasmed all around him. Josh felt his own orgasm enter the base of his dick, knowing that one more squeeze would send him over the edge. Then she did as he silently wanted, she squeezed hard upon him. He lost control and sucked her tongue into his mouth. They came together, as one, and as they did, they pressed their tongues together in the most passionate kiss they each had ever had.

Looking into each others eyes, both started to sob, knowing that what they had just done would not be able to be repeated for another three years. They just lay there like that, until finally she could take no more and he rolled to her side, pulling her to him in the tightest embrace he could muster. Later on that evening, an hour before she had to get back to her room, he brought her to one last orgasm. He pressed his finger into her and rubbed her g-spot and clit at the same time and she came again, and once again, he licked his finger and her pussy clean. At 6am, they hugged and shared one final kiss, as she left his room.

The last year and a half since then has been about the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with, I miss her like crazy, we still talk every day, and we are more in love now than ever. I hope that you have enjoyed my story, because I enjoyed writing it. Feel free to PM me if you have any questions or comments.

story by: blueboy5232



Tags: first time teen male/teen female virginity romance true story sex story

Author: blueboy5232



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Tomorrows friends with the ex, maybe

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