Pick up lines-the worst

sex stories

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.

These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.

story by: LouisaMayyxoxo



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo



Related sex stories:

  • Stopping by for a drink with friends

    Stopping by for a drink with friends ~ One evening as I was getting off work, I got a text from a very good friend. Stop by Bar 145 on your way home and have a beer with us. Bar 145 is a nice upscale bar that always has some very sexy ladies there during happy hour and it is only a few minutes away from my house. Ok, sounds good, I shot a message back, see you soon. After...

  • Sex with a Stranger in a Panel Shop

    Natasha was taking the full force I could dish out. I held her legs tight together as my cock spread her greedy cock hungry hole. Again and again I pounded into her, watching her roll her head around the table where 5 of the guys sit each day to eat their food. I bet nothing ever tasted as good as she did on here. It was already 6pm and everyone else had left the panel shop and headed out for...

  • Thick busty wife craves older pervert men who are very aggresive and dominant

    It all started when we moved away from our home town in ct to massachissetts. I have been obsessed with my wife ever sonce high school and kept persueing her np matter how many times she turned me down i just wouldent stop. Back then she was very curvy and thock in all the right places. After a couple years went by i finnaly got her to date me and i showered her and took care of her like a...

  • Torture at the Swimming Pool

    My hands went up your sides then back down your legs. You started to purr. I continued on like this for several minutes, but finally when you couldn't take it anymore you leaned your head back and pushed your ass back into my crotch. "Oh baby,†you whispered softly, “I love that. Let's go back to our room." I walked into the pool area and you were still on the lounge chair at the far end.  When I left, you...

  • Wal mart wife

    My husband of 7 years went out of town with his guard unit for 2 weeks. I was home alone and getting horny about the second day he was gone. He was only an hour and a half away and called every night. I told him I was horny and he told me to put my hand on my pussy and close my eyes and I did. He told me to rub it and think of him rubbing on my...

My Lover Worships Me

My Best Masturbation Story

What comes in Vegas stays in Vegas

Group Sex 2 Girls 4 Guys

My girlfriend’s Mum

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.