Pick up lines-the worst

sex stories

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.

These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.

story by: LouisaMayyxoxo



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo



Related sex stories:

  • Hot Sex with a Cheating Wife

    I bit her nipples harder than before taking care not to leave marks, and smacked her pussy repeatedly until she wiggled with pleasure, cumming in a wave of ecstasy and delight in one combined motion. I rubbed her clit until the wave ran out. Her eyes looked at me full of want. Did I know it was wrong?  Of course I did.  But I justified to myself like this…‘Would I like someone (more…)

  • Wal mart wife

    My husband of 7 years went out of town with his guard unit for 2 weeks. I was home alone and getting horny about the second day he was gone. He was only an hour and a half away and called every night. I told him I was horny and he told me to put my hand on my pussy and close my eyes and I did. He told me to rub it and think of him rubbing on my...

  • My voyeurism story

    I looked out on to the balcony where Maddy was laying sunbathing, her top off. On closer inspection I could that she was wriggling in her lounge chair. Her hand was squeezing and pulling her left nipple as her other hand dipped down past the brick work. I'm guessing it was going to work on her little pleasure bud. To say I prefer to play instead of watching is an understatement but...I met Sam a month back and since then...

  • His First Pegging

    Rob couldn't believe it... They had talked about her actually fucking him several times, but never got around to it. Sure, there had been some ass play, but they always got off and got sleepy before she ever got around to actually taking his ass on her cock. They hadn't even bought a harness, but Gina had picked up a nice red leather one while he was away."Baby girl..." Rob tried to talk, but was at a loss for words....

  • Unexpected playtime

    I came home early this afternoon , my wife was home but when I came in the house I didn't see her. She is hot 5 ' 7 , 160 black hair brown eyes , sexy ass curves, shaved pussy and a set of 36 GG's not store bought natural, and these are no hangers . They make u wanna rip her short off and suck em every time she wears one of those v neck tops. I am decent...

Our first time 4females -2 males

Sex with my Ex’s Best Friend

Curious Friend

The ride home

As it should be part 2

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.