Pick up lines-the worst

Sex joke

sex stories

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.

These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.

story by: LouisaMayyxoxo



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo



Related sex stories:

  • Sorority hazing

    Hi, I am Jan and now the president of the top sorority on campus, I have to monitor our pledges to make sure they are up to our standards. They have to be great looking and smart. Did I mention that they also have to be a fantastic fuck(both with men and our sisters). This is the story of my pledging. During the first week of pledging about ½ of the pledges either leave on their own or are ask...

  • True love sex story

    His eyes narrowed and his face grew intense. He pressed his lips against mine and we pushed ourselves against each other, feeling as much flesh as we could. I ran my fingers through his hair and threw my head back as he kissed my neck. The way he grazed my arms gave me goosebumps and the way he kissed me sent me over the edge. This is a true love sex story. Some girlfriends and I decided to go to...

  • Valentine’s Day Sex Story with Paris

    I kissed her face from above, kissing it all over as her body squirmed in front of me. My hands wandered down her face and neck until they reached her nipples, still kissing her my fingers teased her breasts. Her hips started to buck ever so slightly. Moving around the table I pulled a chair up to the left of her and started to suck her nipples. Kneeling on the chair I leant over her and softly bit and sucked...

  • The best vacation

    My wife has been going to exercise classes for a couple years now and she has gotten to be friends with a few of the ladies in her class. she's gotten really close with 2 ladies in particular, Saundra and Amanda. both are middle aged (late 30's or early 40's), both have been married but are now divorced and both are extremely attractive. I've met both several times and after about the third time meeting them I asked my wife...

  • Wife slipped me a mickey

    My wife is stunning. hispanic 5'3" 125 lbs with very perky and sensitive b cups. We decided to go to a bar forsome drinks on a nice hot friday night. the bar we chose has a hotel next door for incase we get hammered we just rent a room. Sue's shirt was a low cut front with no sides that shows "my favorite" side boobs and a mini skirt with no panties. We got to the bar about 7 pm...

Hot Sex with a Cheating Wife

Gang bang with Jackie

First Date

Wake me up

Doggie style sex with Jane

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *