Pick up lines-the worst

sex stories

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.

These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.

story by: LouisaMayyxoxo



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo



Related sex stories:

  • Dreams do come true

    I slid my cock into her slowly, enjoying how the head of my cock spread the inner hole of her moist love pit. Her pussy lips closed around me, grabbing hold of my shaft as it inched inside her. I started to pump finding a perfect rhythm as Iris and I joined as one.“Oh you feel so good! Wow you wrap yourself around me. It’s so tight in there. So tight.†I said as I worked inside her. Being the...

  • First time sex story – after my high school prom

    Jasmine imagined a rough but erotic first time sex where Chris finds her in a barn feeding horses. He approaches her from behind and wraps his muscular arms around her body, kissing her on the neck. He tears off her blouse and skirt, exposing her petite body. He plants heavy kisses on her partly-opened lips and tears off his shirt, displaying his well-toned torso. Jasmine runs her hands across his chest and grabs his tight ass. She wants Chris to...

  • Vacation without hubby

    Judy here, im a married woman, My husband Jim is a hard working guy and a good lover. But he was working to many hours in our love life was hurting, So we plan a vacation to get out of the snow and into a nice warm place to have fun and get our sex life fired up. I went out and bought some hot sexy clothes and a really small bikini. Just to get him going. Well i was...

  • Quite a surprise

    Not into long stories. Been divorced about 25 years and was surfing sls to meet some new poeple. I had previously been successful meeting couples and really wanted to meet some new couples in Florida. Finally, I got an e-mail form an sls couple and agreed to meet them at their home. They are very nice looking and obvuiousy very comfortable intheir lifestyle. We talked for a while and looked at the computer and just relaxed. I had a couple...

  • What a great game!

    Further adventures at MC My Girlfriend Tes and I enjoy visiting a motel that has been converted for enjoyment of swingers, it’s a small, 25 ish rooms, motel with all the rooms made over with mirrors, faux fireplaces, provisions for swings and most rooms have either a Jacuzzi or a ‘love machine’ chair. There is a large room with a swimming pool, two large hot tubs and an over sized bed, this area is ‘clothing optional’ and is generally 95+%...

Bondage story – pleasure and pain

So sexy was she

The Barbarian and the Wench- My First Renaissance Faire

Tomorrows friends with the ex, maybe

Sex in a taxi with Jane

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.