So damn fucking funny

sex stories

Hippie and the bus driver
A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him. The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you." The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you." The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says. The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun. After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! " The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

The boss and secretary

A boss said to his secretary I want to have SEX with you I will make it very fast. I'll throw $1000 on the floor, by the time you bend down to pick it I'll be done. She thought for a moment then called her boyfriend and told him the story. Her boyfriend then said to her, do it but "Ask him for $2000, pick up the money very fast he wouldn't even have enough time to undressed himself." So she agrees. Half an hour goes by, the boyfriend decides to call girlfriend, he asks, what happened? She responds, "The Bastard used coins I'm still picking and he is still fucking!"

Women and pleasing

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please

I need a bike!

A store that sells husbands has just opened where a woman may go to choose a husband from among many men. The store is composed of 6 floors, and the men increase in positive attributes as the shopper ascends the flights. There is, however, a catch. As you open the door to any floor you may choose a man from that floor, but if you go up a floor, you cannot go back down except to exit the building. So a woman goes to the shopping center to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 – These men have jobs. The woman reads the sign and says to herself, "Well, that's better than my last boyfriend, but I wonder what's further up?" So up she goes. The second floor sign reads: Floor 2 – These men have jobs and love kids. The woman remarks to herself, "That's great, but I wonder what's further up?" And up she goes again. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 – These men have jobs, love kids and are extremely good looking. "Hmmm, better" she says. "But I wonder what's upstairs?" The fourth floor sign reads: Floor 4 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking and help with the housework. "Wow!" exclaims the woman, "very tempting. BUT, there must be more further up!" And again she heads up another flight. The fifth floor sign reads: Floor 5 – These men have jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework and have a strong romantic streak. "Oh, mercy me! But just think… what must be awaiting me further on?" So up to the sixth floor she goes. The sixth floor sign reads: Floor 6 – You are visitor 6,875,953,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.

story by: Unknown user



Tags: fiction job/place-of-work bi-sexual anal gay sex story

Author: Unknown user



Related sex stories:

  • Story of our first time

    Gayle and I had talked about having sex with other people before we had married. We were both turned on by telling stories of what we had done in the past. After a session of stories and foreplay we would screw like crazy and have some mind bending orgasums. One time while we were telling stories I asked if she missed not having the wild sex she used to have. She said yes it sure was fun, so I suggested...

  • First time lesbian sex story

    She slowly started to kiss me paying attention to every nook and crevice of my body, exploring me, finding new erogenous zones never before encountered with my many trysts with the male race. This was my first Lesbian encounter. I was almost cumming before she had even reached my nipples. Her kiss wandered from my mouth to my ears and neck then down to my chest and had my body bucking wanting more. Girls’ night in was the decision for...

  • A Real Challenge: A Night of Firsts.

    Reassured of my dominance, I licked his cum off my hands and went back to his friend. I patted his hard cock on my tongue, moaning playfully. I was having the time of my life, people were stopping in the street to watch, and I was loving it. I took the second man’s cock back into my mouth again and again, slowing going deeper each time. Then I kept my tongue out, flicking along the underside of his shaft as...

  • (more…)

  • Sick wife with friends

    My wife Ann and I became friends with a guy that she worked with. Mark had just split up with his wife and we started doing some social things together. As things fell apart Mark left his job and moved back home for a new job. However, he kept in touch with us and visited often. One weekend he came to stay at our house. We spent the evening joking and of course making some sexual comments and innuendos. I...

Driver sex story – the unforgettable ride

Valentine’s Day Sex Story with Paris

New found customers

Retirement center dance

Thick busty wife craves older pervert men who are very aggresive and dominant

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *