Pick up lines-the worst

sex stories

•Do you have a heated fire poker up your ass? Cause you look hot.
•I love every bone in your mine
•Are you a mythical monster? Cause you look unreal.
•Did you fall from heaven? Cause your face is seriously fucked up.
•I'm just gonna go ahead and say it-have you ever seen eighteen inches??
•Are you an envelope? Cause I'm gonna open you.
•Are you an angel? Cause god sent you to fuck me.
•I don't mind that you're flat chested. Youre like a board: flat and easy to nail.

These are only a few, just the worst ones I've heard. Like and comment. I'll put some more up soon.

story by: LouisaMayyxoxo



Tags: sex joke sex story

Author: LouisaMayyxoxo



Related sex stories:

  • Our first by sexuial experence

    Kathy my extremely erotic redhead girlfriend snd I met a couple at a regular party and they invited us back to their place for drinks and some sapping. All this was well aand good and other then him holding my cock to guide it into his wife's ass there no other male on male or female on female touching. we exchanged phone numbers and had some nice wild times togather. about a month after this all started we and they...

  • Gang bang with Jackie

    I unzipped my pants and allowed them to fall to the floor. She ripped away my jocks and my half-hard cock sprung up into her face.I was born well endowed. My cock measures a good 10 inches. The problem with it is that many women can’t accommodate me - not given the thrashing I want to give them anyway. There are some people that know what they are talking about… and then there is Jackie.Jac (more…)

  • My Dear Sweet Slave: Part 1 – New Pet

    With the strength earned from millions of hammer swings, he effortlessly picked her up and held her against him, her back pressed against his bare chest. He could feel her heart beating wildly and her lungs expand and contract with each fluttering breath she took. Careful not to let her fall, he reached up with one arm and grabbed her left breast, squeezing hard. With his other arm, he reached down and rammed his ring and middle finger into her...

  • Virgins attack

    We often employ neighborhood kids for babysitting, lawn mowing and other things around the house. This past weekend we asked one of the boys to get a few of his buddies together to mow and rake leaves, as we live on several acres and its just easier to get the 3 mowers out and rakes and get in done in a day. I told him if it they wanted to they could take a dip in the pool and we...

  • The Beginning and the End

    I could see the world burning around me and all I cared about was the pleasure Cassidy’s mouth was bringing me. Eventually I pulled her head off me. Her face was red and covered in sweat. She fell back to the bed. I kissed her lips. They were soft and worn from my thick cock pillaging them. “Ok I want you back on your knees.†I demanded. “Let’s watch this together.†I was miles away from where wanted to be,...

Quite a surprise

Taking in my brothers adopted daughter

Our First Date

Sub wife

Unexpected playtime

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.